WHO AM I?
(The
question that is the
gateway to spiritual
enlightenment)
Having been a coach
for many years, in
addition to having
been involved in the
training of at least
2500 coaches
worldwide, I have
come to the
conclusion that one
of the greatest
skills that we, as
coaches, possess and
need to perfect is
the ‘art of the
question’. In fact,
one could say that
another definition
of a coach is Master
Questioner.
It is important to
remember that the
quality of our life
is determined by the
quality of questions
we ask ourselves.
Some people ask
themselves very
mediocre questions
indeed. For
example, “What time
shall we go to down
the pub?” Others
look at someone who
has achieved great
things and ask
themselves “Why not
me?”. It is similar
to the difference
between “I can’t
afford it” and “How
can I afford it?”
As coaches we have
two responsibilities
towards our client.
The first is to
provide them with a
first-class coaching
experience through
the effective use of
questioning skills.
The second is to
educate them in the
techniques and
benefits of
self-questioning,
helping them to
realise the
importance of
regularly asking key
questions.
Of course when it
comes to asking
questions we can get
very sophisticated
and clever indeed.
We can use questions
with suppositions
and
presuppositions. We
can use open and
closed questions, we
can get involved in
nested loops, we can
use hidden questions
and open questions
and in fact we can
make ourselves feel
and look very clever
indeed.
However I learned a
long time ago the
importance of
simplicity and it is
my opinion that the
greatest coaching
question of all is
“Who am I?”
This question is
very often ignored.
Why? Because it is
easy to ignore; it
can take us on an
uncomfortable
journey and one we
might prefer to
avoid. And yet it
is essential if we
wish to understand
our core, the real
person, the
immutable,
incorruptible and
authentic ‘me’. The
“me” we are really
meant to be.
This question is the
one that helps
people come to a
deep and satisfying
realization of who
they really are. So
this is one of the
key questions that
we must teach our
clients to ask of
themselves on a
regular basis. ‘Who
am I?’ Again and
again.
True happiness and
fulfilment in life
is only achieved
when our actions and
goals are congruent
with our core
values. Yet the sad
truth is most of us
do not really know
what our core values
are. Unfortunately
we take on board the
values of others,
the values that are
impressed upon us by
the media that
constantly bombards
us, and the values
of the people we
work with and the
companies we work
for. It is rare
that the values that
we attach to
ourselves are our
true values. The
inner conflict that
this creates is one
of the underlying
causes for the level
of unhappiness and
depression in
today’s society.
You see our values
are in fact the
mirror of who we
really are yet few
of us look deep
enough into the
mirror to see the
truth. Many
thousand years ago
there was a word
written above a
doorway in ancient
Greece. The word was
“ Knosti” and it was
written above the
doorway of the
Delphic oracle. It
is as true today as
it ever was those
thousands of years
ago. It simply
means “ know
thyself”
There is an old
adage that says that
if you don't know
where you're coming
from then you don't
know where you're
going. The same is
true here, if you
don't know who you
really are how can
you possibly know
what you really want
out of life, what is
truly important and
how do you know
where you are
headed. I learned a
long time ago that
most people don't
really know what
they want in life,
but are prepared to
go through hell to
get it !!!
Being able to answer
the question “Who am
I?” with clarity and
honesty will start
the process that
will make a profound
change in the
direction your life
takes. This in turn
will affect those
close to you; your
family, your
friends, and your
work. The way to
make a real change
in the world today
is simply to do it
one person, one mind
at a time. Start
with the person who
is closest to you -
yourself of course!
